So before I get into this, I would just like to point out that the reason I’m sharing this experience publicly is because I want anybody and everybody who is put in this position to feel better about their decision, to not judge themselves for having to do it in the first place, to accept that it’s a part of life sometimes you have to weigh up your options even if it seems a heartless task.
Recently, myself and my partner found out we were pregnant, I say we because a lot of people seem to forget the fact it takes two to reproduce and it’s not just the mother’s decision. After the initial shock had worn off, we sat down (4am late night talks) and made a pros and cons list of having a baby. I know, it seems absolutely insane to think a worthless piece paper could make a life changing decision, but in actual fact it did for us.
You should know, we had only been together 6 months when this news struck, so you can imagine our reactions when the test was positive. But we both knew that we had to do the right thing, by us and the baby.
We hadn’t a reason to discuss the future in so much detail before, most couples will touch on marriage and kids when they are in the honeymoon stage of course but not at the level we were now facing.
We had to dig deep and think of all the possible scenarios that could come from the decisions we make. Openly sharing finances and future plans with each other as though we were now bound by some sort of contract.
It was a strenuous couple of days but we had finally made our decision. We are having a baby. But how is this going to affect us? Now I’m not therapist but I’ve been through my fair share of difficult and testing situations, this is no different. A baby is a remarkable gift to be given, and your relationship should reflect that. You will no doubt have your ups and downs, but it’s safe to say even couples without children fall into this category. You cannot force happiness, it will be or it won’t. it’s that simple.
We still have a long road ahead of us, the ultimate tests of strength and ability, both individually and as a couple. Starting with… my very real, very evil first trimester symptoms.