Dear my little tummy flutter,
It’s hard to comprehend how I feel right now but all I know is that you will be and possibly already are the making of me. You are only a little sprinkle of magic at the moment but one day in the near future you will be the most marvellous miracle daddy and I could ever dream of (take note of the alliteration, your clever mommy did well in school hint hint).
Since you have been in my tummy, I have felt complete, I don’t exactly know how to explain to you how that feels. I guess it’s something you will one day experience with your own children, I hope it’s as beautiful as you have made me feel (besides the nausea, heartburn, rib kicks). It hasn’t been a walk in the park admittedly, more like a uphill hike but if I could choose to start all over again, I wouldn’t change a single part of my pregnancy.
The good, the bad and all the sad emotions I’ve been through have been an experience and have meant that I have felt and connected with you from the first sight on that test all those months ago. Remember, just because something seems hard, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it in the end. Sweetheart, you are definitely worth every second of pain I’ve been through just to have you by my side for the rest of my life.
When I first met your Daddy, I wasn’t in the place in my life I was ready to settle down, neither was he may I add? But one thing I did know was I wanted to keep spending time with him, we had so much fun and laughed all the time.
Having a baby so soon into a new relationship wasn’t on my five-year plan I can tell you (ask me when you’re older to see said plan I guarantee I’ve achieved zero points) but somehow, it’s all fell into place exactly how I’ve always imagined it would eventually. I couldn’t ask for a better partner or father to you, of course by the time you read this you will see for yourself how incredible your dad is. I’ve been extremely lucky to stumble into a life I didn’t know I wanted and I’m thankful every day.
Finding out about you came as a shock to us both, but only because unfortunately my darling you weren’t planned. That’s not to say you weren’t wanted, truly you have been so very special to us from day one and always will be.
Each waking moment, every conversation, even dreams of you (ahem* sometimes nightmares) fill our hearts with so much happiness and joy. Picturing what you will look like, the sound of your laugh, your little fingers and toes. Everyday my mind wonders to these thoughts, it’s so exciting and I’ll be honest makes all the months of waiting worth it.
As I’m writing this, I’ve come to realise you may never read it and I’m okay with that. Reason being, I suppose I’m actually speaking to myself and I‘m only saying what I think you would want to hear. You will be so loved by everyone in your little world, that these words will be a reality for you daily. If the one thing you take from this is that you have been the start of a wonderful adventure, we had no idea we were even ready to embark upon, I will be forever grateful for that.