Now we have one year old, we have been “discussing” parenting techniques. I’m paraphrasing discussing because like all new parents it’s not a real conversation without either one of us storming out the room or cracking open the wine just to get through it.
We don’t agree entirely on how to deal with tantrums, outbursts or just the utter nonsense that she will undoubtedly spring on us. We also both have very different temperaments which means that good cop, bad cop will often be introduced in our household. Myself being easily wound and Ava’s dad calm and collected (most of the time), I think we know who is who.
We have read every parenting book/article known to man, well we being me obviously. Although my partner did have a dad for dummies guide book when I was pregnant, that was a barrel of laughs. But nothing prepares you for this chapter of the rule book. They don’t tell you about how much your child will throw themselves backward towards a concrete floor or scream until they turn red and can’t breathe.
When I think back to my own childhood, it was always my mother who had the last word, even when my dad suggested something different. Before we even had chance to try and come up with an excuse or backstory as to why we’d done something we shouldn’t, she was straight in there with the punishment. She wasn’t mean, even though at the time we thought it. It was fair. It did us well. We learnt so much and looking back now I can see that.
I can also imagine, now I have my own child, how difficult it must have been. Children can be ruthless, relentless and sometimes just bloody rude. We have to be the responsible adult and keep our calm and cool temperament no matter what they do. That is by far the most stressful and challenging life lesson I believe there to be. But in doing this, we become resilient. Although it’s going to be tough, we need to remember every parent goes through the same process and all we need to do is our best. That’s enough.